Diamond In The Rough
by AbsentMare
Summary: Life is not easy when your own family hates and fears you; this was a lesson Lily Evans learned early on. When you've spent most of your life living in a place that you're unwelcome, what happens when you discover another world that might be different? Future LilyxSeverus. Rated M for language, descriptions of abuse, and pretty much everything that falls under that category.
1. Chapter 1: Worthless

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to the Harry Potter franchise. I am making no money from this venture; it's just fun as hell.

 **TW: DESCRIPTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE.**

 **Chapter One: Worthless**

It was early in the day when Lily slipped out of the house with a piece of cheese slapped into two pieces of bread hidden in her hands. It wasn't so much that her mother didn't feed her as she would always make some nasty remark about wasting food or Lily getting fat if she continued eating as she did, even though she was already small for her age. She said the same thing to Petunia, too, but where Petunia listened (and Lily was quite sure she had an 'eating disorder'-something she'd seen in her health textbook at school) Lily did not. Where Petunia would willingly deprive herself of breakfast and sometimes even lunch, Lily would manage to sneak a little something for herself to snack on before her father got home from work late in the evening.

Richard Evans worked long days at the mill and then nights bagging groceries at the little market in town. The girls' mother, Allison Evans, hadn't worked a day since before Petunia was born, and that had worked out well enough until the drinking started, which was around the same time strange things started happening around Lily. The doctors called it depression and prescribed her medication, but it never worked because Lily would never be normal. Lily's father was the kindest to her of the family, but even he was afraid. He was never around, anyway, and when he finally returned home exhausted, the idea of complaining to him about the things Allison and Petunia had said or done felt selfish. Lily learned quickly that she'd have to deal with her mother and sister and their horrid comments all on her own, and the best way she found was leaving.

They never once questioned it, even if she stayed out from the early hours of the morning until the sun was beginning to set on the horizon. If she ever arrived back home before her father they would actually look at her with disgust, as if they couldn't believe she had the audacity to ruin their lives with her existence. It was all fine, though; she could ignore looks and pretend she didn't hear words.

The sun welcomed her like a warm hug, though she hadn't been hugged in a very long time and the reminder of that made her feel cold and empty inside in a place the sun could never touch. She waited until she was a few houses away to steal a glance back at the house; neither mother nor sister were in sight in any windows, and she quickly took a huge bite of her sandwich before deciding to pace herself with the rest. It wasn't much, but it was all she was going to get until her father came home and her mother _had_ to feed her dinner, and she had to stretch it as far as she could. The rest of the day would certainly last long enough-as far as her stomach was concerned, anyway. As far as the day ending and Lily resolving that she finally had to return home was concerned, she could never return and easily be pleased. She had considered running away since she first started making strange things happen ('demonic things', her mother said, 'magic things', she thought) and her mother started drinking and calling her a 'worthless, devilish little bitch' or some creative variation. She never did _try_ to, though. She knew she wouldn't be able to take care of herself and that there were people out there far scarier than her mother, but she wished to be gone of the place that was certain.

She wandered for ages, to the park for a while and then up and down the streets. Her sandwich was long gone by the time she returned to the park, to swing for a bit and then maybe wander closer to town (but not close enough that her father saw her and then questioned her mother later about why she was there all alone). The first and only time she'd done this, unthinkingly, didn't seem so bad at first. Her mother gave her a sharp look at the dinner table and that _seemed_ to be the end of it. It wasn't until the next morning that Lily discovered what her _true_ punishment was. As soon as her mother was awake, she was shaking Lily awake, too, tugging her out of bed and then pushing her onto her knees. She could barely register words or what was happening, but the pieces began to fall into place, slowly but surely. First, she realized _why_ she was being dragged out of bed; then she realized where she was kneeling.

Her mother hadn't just planted her down on the floor; that would be far too simple. A familiar piece of wood, worn and starting to splinter in places, lay below her knees. _'And you'll stay there until I tell you to move. You had better not move until I say so or you'll be a very sad little girl.'_ It didn't seem so bad at first; kneeling on their old broomstick _was_ uncomfortable, sure, but she was tough and she could handle it.

The pain began about a minute later. It crept down her shins and by ten minutes her legs from the knee down were on fire. By twenty her thighs were aflame too, and by the time she had knelt there for thirty minutes they were oscillating between pain and creeping, tingling numbness. She had managed to keep time by the activity around her; her mother making a pot of coffee, doing a few dishes from the night before, and then switching over to the harder stuff as she plopped down at the TV to watch her 'stories', but by then Lily couldn't keep track anymore. All she could do was focus on not moving. She considered sneaking, just for a second, a brief respite from the pain, but f her mother came to check on her or if her sister happened past she would be caught. It was a wicked game they played, although Lily was angrier with her mother for it than her sister. Her sister, in her own way, was just trying to survive too.

By the time Allison came back, Lily was shaking uncontrollably and unwanted tears were streaming down her face. She heard her mother say something along the lines of _'it's over'_ and _'move'_ , but she had been kneeling there for so long that her legs did not want to work. After a brief pause, Allison grabbed her brusquely by the arm and pushed her away. Lily, for what it was worth, tried to keep her back straight and her head down as she stumbled towards the door on shaky legs. She was already angry with herself for allowing herself to cry; she wouldn't give her mother the satisfaction of seeing her struggle any more than what she couldn't cover up.

From that point on, she never allowed herself to sleep in any later than her mother and she _never_ went near the places her father would be during the day again. Her mother called her stupid all the time, but stupid she was not.

There were other kids at the park when she returned this time, a group of about seven boys around her age. Although she didn't usually mind it when other kids were at the park in small numbers or with their parents, it was the larger groups that aways gave her trouble, making fun of her scuffed Mary Janes (Petunia's old ones-Lily hadn't gotten a new pair of shoes in years) or her paper thin, faded dress (also one of Petunia's old things), or the way her hair hung, limp and scraggly, around her pale and freckled face. There was literally nothing they wouldn't make fun of, and although the group seemed to be split into two, one of three and one of four, that didn't mean there wouldn't be trouble. She recognized some from school, and every single one of them had been rude to her at some point or another.

Still, she had plans for the day, a small bit of her life that she had control over, and she would not give that up for anyone or anything. She heard bits and pieces of their conversation as she approached the swingset.

"Come on, just one trick!"

"No."

 _"Please?"_

"I don't even know what you're talking about."

She sat down on one of the swings and began to push herself with her feet, deciding to stay low to the ground in case-

"Hey!"

One of the boys was calling out to her. _Great. Just great, Whatever they wanted their friend to do, it just couldn't be entertaining enough for me to be left alone._ She tried to ignore him, but she knew this one; he had been the reason she did not move her swing too far into the air, for precisely three seconds later his hand was grabbing the chain, yanking her to a stop. And if he was willing to do _that_ then she didn't want to see what would happen if he tried to stop her midswing while she was actually moving fast.

"Hey, Stupid, I"m talking to you." She could feel the warmth of his hand near hers where they both clutched onto the chain. She said nothing.

"Oh, come on, Todd, you know she's mute or something!" one of the other boys from school, Drew, said, like it was some great joke.  
"Hey, fuck off you guys-okay?" It was a different voice that spoke now, one she didn't recognize. It must have belonged to one of the boys she didn't know from school. He, unlike Drew, actually sounded serious.

This seemed to incite the other boys, and Todd's hand slipped away from the chain as he no doubt approached the Serious One. Lily let out a little sigh of relief as the warmth from his hand left, and she brushed her hand off on her dress, hoping to scrub away the creeping sensation its presence there had left.

"It's just a bit of fun," she heard Todd say.

"Yeah!" Drew chimed in. "What's your problem? You know we don't _have_ to hang out with you, right?"  
"I don't want to hang out with you, anyway." Serious One sounded _really_ serious, and the feeling that prodded Lily's stomach said maybe a little _dangerous._ Maybe not to her, though; he _was_ sticking up for her, after all; but to them.

Maybe they felt it too, because Todd and Drew both made noises of disgust, but didn't say anything else to him.  
"Come on, you guys. Let's get out of here. This place is for little kids, anyway." Lily bit her lip, but her eyes remained locked on one spot on the ground. She thought the Serious One would leave too, but she saw a pair of trainers appear in her field of vision. She noticed the looked newer than her shoes but not as new as the other boys' because it was easy to notice people's footwear when you spent most of your time looking at the ground. Lily counted the seconds in which they both did not move. _1...2...3..._

"Sorry about them. They're idiots." He finally spoke! She didn't realize she had been anticipating hearing that voice again until she heard it, and she chided herself for being so foolish.

"If they're such idiots, then why are you hanging out with them?" she shot back venomously, though she still daren't look up from the ground and his shoes.

He sighed. That was the last thing she expected to hear, and she froze like a rabbit, now absolutely not sure what to expect next.  
"My mother says if I'm going to be homeschooled I ought to still be social," he groused. _Oh._ She thought. _So that's why I haven't seen him before._  
"That's stupid."

"Yeah."

She finally looked up. She loved the sound of his voice-although she chalked that up to it just being an appreciation for him sticking up for her. Still, she had to see who the voice was connected to.

He was tall and skinny and wore a Man U shirt over his jeans.  
"You like football?" she asked dumbly.

He shrugged. "Mum found it at the thrift store. I don't like sports."

"Hm."

She looked him over in silence; he had dark hair that was longer than a boy's usually would be, down a bit past his ears, and dark eyes to match, and pale skin like hers, though it wasn't covered in freckles. The only thing she saw about him besides his hair that he might get picked on for (a measurement of people she'd unconsciously learned to note after years spent being picked on) was his nose, which was long and hooked. She liked it, though; he was unique, and the thought of what he might have looked like when he had sounded _serious_ and _dangerous_ gave her a little rush of excitement. She didn't notice until he returned the gesture, but a smile had crept across her lips.

She was about to tell him that she should probably go when he spoke again, though it was only two words.

"I'm Severus."


	2. Chapter 2: Friendship

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to the Harry Potter franchise. I am making no money from this venture; it's just fun as hell.

 **Chapter Two: Friendship**

Lily bit back a smile. The boy had just stuck up for her, the most unpopular girl in school-and the neighborhood likely- and she didn't want to mess things up by offending him immediately.

"I know, it's a bit weird," he said, shrugging.

Damn it! He'd seen it anyway!  
"O-oh, no, it's not-I didn't mean it like that," she stammered. "I really like it-honest, I do!" she sputtered as he smiled again. "It's unique. Like you."

He chuckled again. "You don't even know me, though," he replied, though his voice was warm and inviting-not like it had been when he spoke to the other boys.

"No, I don't," she admitted, and although she was usually more than happy to spend her life on the outskirts of other kids' lives, she genuinely felt sad about that.

"I mean-you could, though," he said quickly. "Like, we could be friends. If you want."

She nodded. "I'd like that."

"What's your name?"

"Lily."  
"That's pretty. You're pretty too."  
She blushed, both at his compliment and at his forwardness. He was blushing too, and she wondered if maybe he'd surprised himself too.  
"Thanks." She paused. She didn't believe him; she was the furthest thing from pretty with too many freckles and hand-me-down clothes and giant rabbit-like front teeth and hair she knew she'd forgotten to wash for a few days now. But she didn't want to offend the boy who wanted to be her friend so much that he'd lie to her and decided not to say these things out loud. "You want to swing too?"  
His smile widened-she wouldn't have guessed it could have gotten any bigger until it happened. "Sure."

He stepped to the side and plopped down on the swing next to her, pushing himself idly. She did the same.

"So... uhm... I don't want to be rude or anything-you don't have to if you don't want to, but, I, well, I heard the other boys asking you about...tricks?"

Severus looked around, as if he wasn't sure he should be talking to her about it, but then finally nodded.

"Can I see one?"

He hesitated, looking around, over his shoulder and out ahead, craning his neck. Hope lept in her chest; if he was being so secretive about his tricks, maybe that meant they were the same kinds of tricks _she_ could do? She had never met anyone else who could do them and was beginning to think she was the only one who could. Although she knew it wasn't likely the case, she spun around so she was facing him, the chains above her crisscrossed just above her head. He did the same, then leaned in close-and she leaned in close too.

"You promise not to tell anyone-ever?" he whispered. Dark eyes locked with emerald and both were hard and focused.  
"I promise," she replied, nearly vibrating with excitement.

He reached down and grabbed a handful of woodchips. She watched him with bald confusion and a little apprehension, but it quickly became clear he wasn't going to throw them at her like some kids had in the past when he turned his hand and then opened it flat so the woodchips lay on it as though it was a little table. He stared at them and she stared at him until the woodchips began to move on their own, first stirring a little and then rising into the air in a tiny vortex.

Lily let out a little gasp and clapped her hand over her mouth. The woodchips fell instantly and she unspun her swing and lept away, running to a patch of flowers near the edge of the swingset. She heard the boy call out for her to wait-that he was sorry, he didn't mean to scare her-but she was already back in her swing, grinning wildly at him.

He looked like he'd about had a heart attack while she was gone and she felt a pang of guilt for causing him that pain. But it would be fine, and he'd understand soon enough. She turned her swing back so she was facing him again and he followed suit. It was his turn to watch her curiously now as she held out a flower, crumpled and dead, in the space between them. As they both stared at it, the flower began to change, like it was wilting in reverse, first uncrumpling in the places it had been bent and broken, then regaining its color and beauty.

She finally looked up when the little wildflower was as fresh as if it had just been picked from a bush. Severus's eyes were as big as saucers, and he looked almost happy enough to cry.

"You-you can do it too? You're like me?"

She nodded mutely, and she felt tears stinging her eyes, threatening to fall. She blinked them back because being happy was a stupid thing to cry about.

"That-that means you're a witch."

She tilted her head curiously at him; it wasn't a very nice thing to call someone, but she'd been called far worse before, and it wasn't like he'd been mean to her at all. So why did he suddenly decide to call her that?

He must have realized he'd perhaps chosen the wrong thing to say and shook his head. "Ugh-sorry, that was stupid. I mean, there are other people like us, you know. That's what we're called. Well, the girls are, and boys are called wizards. I don't know why, it's just what people say."

Lily blinked. "What if I want to be a wizard too?"

"I mean, I don't think it really matters. You can call yourself whatever you want."  
She shrugged. "Witch is fine. I was just curious."

He smiled again and she smiled back. "Is anyone else in your family like us?"

She shook her head.  
"My mother is."  
"Is your dad?"  
"No."  
"Does it bother him?"

Severus shrugged. "I guess it did because he left a little while back. I think I was five or something." He knew the exact date and time and what they had eaten that night for dinner and what he and his mother and his father had all been wearing and the way the air smelled when it came in as the door opened and the way the house felt hollow and empty when it shut behind his father who was gone forever-

but it was easier to pretend he didn't really remember at all.

Lily saw it in his eyes that he wasn't exactly telling her the truth, but she figured it was because it hurt too much to talk about. She wondered what it was like and how things may have changed if her mother had simply walked out the front door and never come back instead of staying and becoming a monster.

"Wanna talk about something else?" he offered.

She nodded vigorously, her hair dropping into her face. She pushed it back behind her ear.

"Well, there's a school to learn how to hone our skill. It's called Hogwarts, and the students all get sorted into a House, either Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Gryffindor."

Lily laughed. "Hogwarts? _Hufflepuff?"_

Severus laughed too. "Yeah, they sound pretty funny when you think about it, especially Hufflepuff."

"That sounds so _cool,_ though! How do you know which House you'll get put in?"

"Well, it's all about what kind of person you are. People who are ambitious and resourceful go to Slytherin, really smart people go to Ravenclaw, people who are really nice and hard-working go to Hufflepuff and people who are thick-headed idiots who don't use their brain go to Gryffindor."

Lily burst into laughter at the last part. "Wow! That's cool. Which House do you think you'll get put in?"  
"Slytherin I hope. That's where my mother was when she went to Hogwarts."  
"That sounds like it would suit you. Or Ravenclaw; you seem really smart."  
"You too."  
"Thanks."

They smiled coyly at each other again. A harsh growl, like a bear or a lion, cut into their conversation and Lily grabbed her stomach to silence it, though he'd already noticed.

"You know, it's probably close to lunchtime. Do you want to come to my house for lunch? Mum won't mind, promise," he added as soon as Lily's face turned skeptical.

The corner of her mouth quirked up like it always did when she couldn't make up her mind. She didn't want to impose, but she _was_ really hungry. Slowly she finally nodded. "That would be nice," she finally admitted as her stomach gave another low growl.

Severus looked genuinely happy to hear this and he swung his swing round and stood up. When she did the same she was surprised to see his hand outstretched to her.

She looked from the hand to his face and back, then cautiously put hers in his, and they wrapped together as if they'd already been friends for years.  
"Can we be...friends?" Lily asked, a little redundantly.  
"Yeah."  
"Best friends?"

" _Best_ friends."


	3. Chapter 3: Lunch

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to the Harry Potter franchise. I am making no money from this venture; it's just fun as hell.

 **Chapter Three: Lunch**

It was nice to have a friend. As they walked they went further and further into the poorer part of town, where empty takeaway cups and wrappers littered the sides of the streets and most of the homes were in various states of disrepair. She had often found herself looking at old wrappers floating along down the street when the wind picked them up and feeling like she was looking at herself; unwanted, cast aside, and left to drift to places unknown (as long as they weren't _here)._

She felt that sensation creeping into her chest when she remembered the pressure of Severus' hand in hers. As she thought about that pressure, the pressure in her chest began to lighten.  
"I'm sorry it's not very nice," he said, breaking the longest silence that had lasted between them since they met. "It's just me and my mother and it's hard for her to afford anything else."  
"It's fine. You don't have to have lots of money to matter," she replied simply. That seemed to be enough for him because he smiled and didn't bring it up again. Instead, he continued to talk eagerly about magic, the kinds that they'd be learning at school, and about the magical world itself, from its government to its shops. She wondered how she was going to remember it all, but she was going to try.

When they turned the corner onto a street called Spinner's End she knew they had to be close to his home because there was not a cross street at the end of it like most streets had. As it turned out, that very last house on Spinner's End belonged to he and his mother, looking tall and skinny like Severus himself, but made up of bricks and ugly in man other ways quite unlike Severus. The walk to Severus' house hadn't been far from the park, and by Lily's calculations it was about the same distance as _her_ house was from it. She felt an odd sense of comfort in the knowledge that it was equidistant from their two homes, like a hub they could meet at any time they wanted to.

She followed Severus inside and deposited her shoes by the door like he did. She wondered if she should say something, but she didn't need to wonder long. As soon as they'd both taken off their shoes, a tall woman with dark hair and dark eyes just like Severus' appeared. She was wearing very old fashioned looking clothes, although they looked very nice on her. Lily smiled sheepishly, but the woman regarded her with a look that was mostly stern and a little bit confused.

"Severus, I do believe I instructed you to _go_ and be social-not to bring home any child you find wandering around the neighborhood." She sounded like Severus did when he was using his Serious Voice and Lily shrank back a little, stung. It was as if the woman knew how she spent her mornings and afternoons, and she guessed there was a chance that she did; it made Lily feel very uncomfortable and very small thinking about it.

"She's not just _any_ kid," Severus protested, and Lily was surprised he had the confidence to speak up to a woman who seemed, so far, to be so severe. "She's - she's like us."

He looked like he wanted to say more when he glanced at Lily and then back to his mother and Lily bit her lip nervously.

Then, as if through magic (which was very, very real, Lily finally knew), his mother's face softened, if only a little. "Well, don't just stand there, boy. Introduce her."

Severus flushed and looked embarrassed. "Oh-uhm, Mum, this is Lily. Lily, this is my Mum."

"You may call me Eileen. It is good to meet you, young lady." She dipped her head slightly and Lily tried to be proper too-curtseying awkwardly. Lily wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a flicker of a smile on Eileen's face.

"Well, it's already rather late in the afternoon. Am I to assume you two are here for something to eat?" Her voice was hard, but it wasn't judgemental or accusatory like Lily's mother's was when it came to the subject of her eating.

"Yes, please, Mum," Severus said, sounding very respectful. Lily smiled; it was adorable, really.

"Yes, please, m'am-if you don't mind." Lily's stomach grumbled again. Eileen glanced down and then back at Lily's eyes, but only said "Eileen, please, girl," and then lead them to the kitchen. It was strange the way she seemed so stern and yet so nice all at once. When Lily glanced at Severus with a querying look he only shrugged.

They both sat at a worn little table with room enough for four chairs (though there were only two pushed up against it) while Eileen worked at the counter. It wasn't a bad house, and it felt nicer than hers where there was always tension of some degree present. There was, she noticed, a strangely pungent odor coming from another room, like... _pee?_

"Mum's brewing Polyjuice Potion," Severus said when Lily started looking around for a cat. "I forgot I wanted to be out of the house today because she was getting the potion up to this point. It's gonna smell really bad like this for a while."

"That's amazing!" Lily said eagerly, immediately forgetting the smell. "What does Polyjuice Potion do?"  
"When it's done, if you put someone's hair in it and then drink it, you'll look like them for an hour," Severus replied, grinning as Lily's jaw dropped.  
"That's _amazing!"_  
"Yeah, it's really cool. Mum's been teaching me how to brew potions too. Mum, since she's magical too, could we maybe teach Lily too?"

Lily stared at Eileen, who had turned to consider the two children, eagerly. Finally she said "I think that can be arranged."

Severus whooped and Lily squeaked, and the two high-fived over the table.

"Alright, alright, settle down," Eileen said briskly, but there was a hint of amusement in her tone. Severus and Lily sat, smiling and trying not to giggle. When the feeling pased, Lily sat back in her chair, regarding Severus thoughtfully. She couldn't decide what she wanted to ask him next, and finally settled on made the most sense; brewing potions.  
"So, what kind of potions are we going to make then, Sev?" She hadn't meant to call him that-she didn't know if he liked nicknames, but his smile reassured her.  
"Well, Lils," he replied, and she smiled at her own new nickname, "Mum'll probably have us help her with the potions she makes for customers. She's got a big batch of Pepperup Potion she's got to make tomorrow that I'm going to help her with. Why don't you come by after breakfast? It's a much quicker potion to brew than the Polyjuice, so you'll be able to see it from start to finish."

Lily nodded so hard she was sure her head would come off of her shoulders. "Yes, that would be _amazing."_ She sighed wistfully, unsure how she'd gotten so lucky; that morning she was just Lily Evans, the girl whose family didn't even like her, and now she was Lily Evans, the girl who had the best friend in the world.

She didn't know _how_ she'd gotten so lucky, but she knew she didn't want to mess it up.

Eileen turned and placed a bologna sandwich and small pile of crisps in front of each of them followed by glasses of water. "Be sure to clean up when you're done," she said, giving Severus a look that was stern, but still softer than the kinds of looks Lily's mother gave her. They both thanked her and she gave a curt nod before leaving, and Lily then shifted uncomfortably as the first thought of her home life trickled back into her mind.

"You okay?" Severus was sitting there with his sandwich halfway up to his mouth, and it would have been a very amusing sight if he didn't look so concerned.  
"Oh, yes, I-just thinking about things," she replied hurriedly, not wanting to scare him off or ruin their afternoon with her depressing thoughts. "Sorry. Let's eat."  
A little smile tugged the corner of Severus' mouth and he took a bite of his sandwich, but the concern did not disappear so quickly.

They both ate in silence for a few minutes, both ravenously hungry after an afternoon out and about.  
"So... what were those dementors you were talking about? Sorry."  
"You don't have to be sorry. It's not like you're gonna remember all of this the first time you hear it, you know," Severus said knowingly, sounding more like an adult than a fellow nine-year-old. "Anyway, they're the creatures that guard the magical prison."  
"And they put bad people in there?"  
"Yeah-well, only magical ones, but yeah."  
Lily sighed. Azkaban sounded like the perfect place for a person like her mother. Fear suddenly gripped her and she looked up at Severus, eyes widened.  
"Wait-you said we're not allowed to do magic outside of school, right? But we-I-"  
Severus motioned his hands down and she took this as a sign to calm down, finishing the bite of food he had before replying. She tried to do so, but her heart was racing.

After a moment that took far too long for Lily's liking, he finally said "don't worry. We're still young, so it all gets counted as accidental. Besides, they're not gonna chuck us in Azkaban for doing magic outside of school. You have to do something _really_ bad to get sent there."  
Lily nodded, satisfied with his answer. They finished up and Lily helped wash their dishes and then spent the rest of the afternoon together. There was no television droning or screaming advertisements at Severus' house, much to Lily's relief, and by the time it started to get late and she had to start walking home she felt the sudden urge to never leave again. Severus must have noticed because he took her hand in his once again. Lily smiled at his touch.

"It's okay, Lils. You can come over tomorrow and we'll work on the Pepperup with my Mum and then we'll hang out the next day too!"

She liked the sound of that.

When she stepped out onto their little porch the sky was turning into a deep shade of orange. She stopped for a moment to stare, hardly noticing Severus join her outside.  
"Ready?"  
She nearly jumped out of her skin.  
"Sorry-I'm sorry." He sure did apologize a lot.  
"Ready for what?" Lily asked, glancing around for the bear to jump out from behind the bushes or something, anything to be ready for.  
"Oh-I thought I could walk y-you home-if you like," he stammered, blushing a little. It was really cute.  
"No," she replied a little to quickly, and her words seemed to sting a bit. She tried to soften her face with a smile, but it was small. "Thanks, Sev, but...I'll be okay." There was no telling who would be home when she got there and she didn't want any of her family drama to scare off her first and only friend.

He nodded, looking disappointed and even a bit dejected, but she had to stand firm in her decision, at least for now. Still, she reached out and squeezed his shoulder, which earned her one of his small, lopsided smiles that put butterflies in her stomach.  
"Don't worry, Sev. I'll be back before you know it." With that, she turned and began to walk down the street, her step a little lighter than it had been less than twelve hours before.


	4. Chapter 4: Spinner's End

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to the Harry Potter franchise. I am making no money from this venture; it's just fun as hell.

 **Chapter Four: Spinner's End**

Severus stood on the porch long after Lily had left his sight, the vision of her walking home with the dying sun setting her auburn hair ablaze burned into his memories. The shadows lengthened around him and soon the sky was a deep shade of purple. He barely noticed when his mother joined him, leaning against the door frame, looking out onto the dark and empty street. "She seems like a very nice girl," she commented casually. Severus started, whipping his head back and then rolling his eyes dramatically.  
" _Mum_ ," Severus groused, turning around fully. "You're talking about her like she's a _book."_

Eileen blinked in feigned confusion, "But... you _like_ books, Severus, do you not?"  
"Ugh-it's not the same thing and you know it. She's not a book she's a-erm," he faltered and tapered off before he could say _'an angel'_. He hadn't been to church, not since his father made him go when he was young, but he remembered hearing stories about angels flying around in the sky or whatever. He had no idea what they were talking about at the time, but now he was quite certain he knew what an angel looked like. He continued staring down the road where she'd gone until the street lights came on just a few minutes later.  
"Severus," Eileen said finally, "maybe we should-"

"It's not fair," he said deliberately as if he didn't hear. He spun around and faced his mother, who looked like she was considering feigning ignorance again until she saw the expression on his face. Her mouth became a thin line.

"You're a Prince," she said, cupping his chin in her hands. He rolled his eyes, not eager to hear another spiel about their heritage. "Hey-look at me when I'm talking to you." He complied, eyes settling onto a pair just like his own. "If you think something is wrong then you _do_ something about it. You don't stand around moping. When your father left how long would we have survived if I had sat around and moped because it wasn't _fair?"_  
Severus mumbled something.  
"I'm sorry?"

"Not long at all," he relented, his voice louder this time, but still muted.

"So then _do_ something-"  
"I can't-I don't know what to do!" he shot back, starting to get angry.  
"Excuse me? Don't you dare raise your voice to me, young man." The two stared at each other for a moment, both of their tempers flaring, although Eileen had a better handle on hers than her son did. " _Listen_ , Severus. I know you were observant enough to see that things for her are not necessarily as good as they are for you-ah ah, _let me finish._ Whatever it is you _think_ you need to do to help her, you don't; I heard you two, talking and giggling. If there's anything you can do to help her, it's by being her friend."  
A voice in the back of Severus' mind raised doubts about this advice; it seemed too easy, too simple, but as mother and son washed up after dinner that night, he realized maybe the simplest solution was the best one. Even if he still wasn't sure in the morning, he would still do his best to listen to his mother's advice; she'd always been right before.

xxxx

Morning came swiftly once Severus' excitement (and nerves) settled enough to allow him sleep. The routine since his mother pulled him from Muggle school for too many incidents of accidental magic to continue explaining away had been simple. They woke up, made breakfast together, cleaned for a little while, then began work. Since Severus' father left, his mother had taken up the mantle of breadwinner. Severus had imagined she'd take a job like his father had in years past and spend most of her days out of the house, but when she pulled out a large cauldron and several boxes, all covered in dust, his heart leaped. He had never gotten to see her use magic until the day Tobias left for good; even after Eileen explained her and her son's magical heritage she continued to have to hide it like she'd done before. It was something Severus didn't understand at the time, but he didn't pry. It was easy to forget to ask such things when going on your first trip to the magical world. Their trip had been only practical in nature, just a quick stop to the apothecary on Diagon Alley to replenish supplies that had become impotent sitting on a shelf for years, but it didn't matter a whit to Severus. He had gone from hiding his magic to being surrounded by people on every side just like him. He took everything around him in hungrily, and it was difficult for him to accept when it was time to leave. His mother had tried to give him a hard look for whining but only smiled. _'We'll be back',_ she assured him, _'many times to come.'_

They still stopped at Florean Fortescue's before heading back home.

He learned plenty just helping his mother brew the potions that she sold to keep a roof over their heads, but afterward, they moved onto other fields of magical theory. When the City Council for Cokeworth sent representatives periodically to ensure Severus was receiving a proper education at home, he passed their tests without issue as well. It took only a little adaptation to manage it; most Muggle sciences and mathematics were simplifications of schools of magic, after all. Now that his father was gone, his mother had brought all of her hidden books on magic out and the possibilities seemed limitless. He learned the basics of charms, transfiguration, and hexes, both with his mother and outside of her teaching hours. It was challenging to learn only theory and no practical applications, but his mother had been dropping hints recently that she'd be taking him to get a wand of his own soon.

When Lily arrived just after they'd finished cleaning up from breakfast and he told her as much, her eyes went wide with awe.  
"That's so cool! When will *I* get a wand?"  
"Not until closer to your first year at Hogwarts," Eileen supplied when Severus glanced deferentially to her, no doubt hoping she might decide to bring Lily along on their trip to get her wand early as well. "It's not common for children with magical parents to get their wand early, but I want Severus to be prepared, and he's proven himself responsible enough. Unfortunately, with no witch or wizard in your home to supervise you and ensure your safety-and the safety of those around you-I cannot abide you having a wand of your own until it's time."  
The two children exchanged disappointed glances, their eagerness to practice spells together quashed like insects. Then inspiration struck.

"What if she keeps her wand here? And practices with us sometimes?" Lily was vibrating with excitement.

"I've got some money saved! I can pay for it!" she added quickly, before that all-important subject arose.

Eileen hesitated. She hadn't expected _this_ and certainly not so soon. While she was delighted her son had found a friend his own age, that's what she'd wanted him to do, anyway, when she sent him out into the neighborhood to socialize with the other children in the first place, she hadn't expected him to become so _enamoured_ with one. Though she supposed she would be pretty with a cleaner head of hair and a smile on her face.

Despite her misgivings, the nagging voice telling her to urge her son to be cautious with the girl, she found herself nodding. The two children whooped and high-fived.

"Alright, you two, settle down," Eileen quipped with only a tiny measure of annoyance.

xxxx

Several hours passed. As promised, Lily and Severus helped make a large batch of Pepperup Potion, cutting and measuring ingredients and stirring the cauldron. Each and every step and ingredient was described in detail by Severus (with a few interjections from his mother ranging from clarifications to the occasional gentle correction from his mother) and Lily listened with rapt attention. He relished the attention, not only because it delighted him to have someone share an interest in something he loved, but because it delighted him to have _her_ rapt attention. The feeling of her emerald eyes boring into him as he spoke was nearly overwhelming and ignited a fire in his belly, and each day that passed by in which they studied together, poring over the same books Severus had been reading and trying to decipher for years, understanding the more complex theories little by little after enough exposure to them. Once Lily had spent two weeks with him and his mother's books, reading for hours each day, she was beginning to understand the basics of magical theory as well.

"Are these curses... you would go to Azkaban for using them wouldn't you?" Lily and Severus were lying on their stomachs on the sitting room floor, propped up on their elbows, with books and notebooks strewn around them (Lily's notes were kept here with Severus and Eileen for safekeeping, just as her wand one day would be) poring over an old tome. The book was full of spells whose only use was to cause harm far greater than any of the small hexes they'd read about in other books. Jelly-Legs Jinxes and Full Body Binding Hexes seemed far less nefarious next to Blasting Curses or curses made to torture people.

"Well...that depends, I guess. On why you used them," Severus replied thoughtfully. "Sometimes the only way to protect yourself is to hurt someone who's trying to hurt you. That's not unforgivable. But there _are_ three Curses that Mother says you'll be put in Azkaban for using no matter what. The Cruciatas, Imperius, and Killing Curses." He flipped through the pages until he landed on a section of the book that went into more detail about them.  
"The three Unforgivables," Lily read breathlessly, filled with an exhilarating mix of fear and wonder. "Classified as unforgivable in 1717... but when were they invented?" she asked, looking up from the book to meet Severus' eyes.

He shrugged. "Dunno. A lot of the old spells don't have a date of origin established. Most of the original spells were just passed down by word of mouth; I guess that means they're really old then."  
Lily propped her chin on her hand. "Well, that doesn't make sense."  
Severus' brows knitted together. "What? Why's that?"  
"Well, if they're really old then why did it take so long for them to be classified as Unforgivable? And why those spells and not others? We read about a Severing Charm yesterday. I mean, sure it can be used to cut anything and I guess people don't _usually_ use it on other people, but the book said it could kill someone. Doesn't it make that spell just as dangerous when the wrong person uses it?"

Severus smiled broadly. He had heard these questions before because he had asked them before. His mother had chided him and told him not to question the law, simply to follow it, but those questions had never actually left his mind. "I know, it's weird. I mean, I guess it's because they're more direct? One kills someone no matter what, the other causes excruciating pain in every single part of the body all at once, and the other lets the caster make someone do whatever they want them to. I still think it's pretty silly, but that's the most logical reason I can see for it, anyway."

Lily made a thoughtful sound, leaning in, her eyes roving over the pages once more. "The Killing Curse can't be blocked... _Avada Kedavra..._ it sounds like Abra Cadabra."

Severus blinked and looked at her strangely. "That's a... weird thing to notice."  
"Huh?" They stared at each other in mutual confusion for a brief second before Lily realized what was wrong. " _Oh,_ right, I forgot. Erm, when Muggles pretend to do magic they say _'Abra Cadabra'._ And I thought that was pretty silly-"  
"It is-"

"-okay, true, but think about it!"

Severus did. Then he nodded, frowning. "I guess there was a time that enough Muggles were killed by magical people that they started to learn the incantation-sort of. The Statute of Secrecy has been around for ages, though."  
"Well," Lily replied with a shrug, "I guess some things just stick."

 _'Yeah... some people do too,'_ Severus thought, glancing to his side. He wasn't exactly antisocial, but he didn't particularly like or trust people easily-not with a secret to hide like magic and not after his father abandoned the family. When a display of accidental magic caught the eye of the neighborhood boys his mother insisted he try to befriend became fuel for them to pester him for more 'tricks' he added another reason not to trust people to the growing list. Lily, who unlike them Severus was sure was perfect in every way, felt like a gift from a higher power.

"Severus...Lily..." Eileen had appeared in the doorway to the sitting room, though Severus was sure she'd been there longer than they'd been aware. She had a way of appearing places suddenly and without being noticed, and it wasn't through Apparation or spells. He always envied this about her, heavy footed and awkward as he was, and hoped he'd grow to acquire this talent as well. "It's about time for you to head home, dear. I'm sure your parents will be expecting you for dinner soon."

Lily and Severus shared a glance; it was hardly three o'clock and Lily had never left before four. The mood in the room shifted immediately as the two children parted ways sadly, and Lily lingered in the doorway after she'd slipped her worn shoes on. "Bye, Sev," she murmured when he joined her by the door, her voice cracking with unshed tears.  
"Bye, Lils," he replied, watching her walk down the steps and then away from the house towards her part of town. He would have stayed there until she was out of sight, but his mother cleared her throat pointedly behind him. That was why she'd sent Lily home early; something was wrong-or rather, his mother had something to be upset about.

Severus let out a forceful huff, trying to keep his temper from rising (although it already was) as he shut the door and turned to his mother. "Yes, mum?" he asked, hoping he sounded properly demure.

"I need to talk to you about your little friend...Lily."

"Oh...okay." He didn't like the way she said that, or how vague her choice of words was.

"Are you sure it's wise to be spending _so_ much time with her?"  
Severus was taken aback, and he felt anger bubbling up inside of him like a boiling cauldron. "What? Didn't you say she could study here? Didn't you tell me to-to go and be social?" he shot back.  
Eileen held up a hand. "I am aware, Severus, my memory functions very well."  
His eyes narrowed at her quip, but he said nothing.

"I simply want you to be cautious," she began, in a tone that warned she was not to be interrupted. "I don't know what goes on at her house, but she comes over improperly bathed and in old, shabby clothes. Whatever the reason for it, I'm sure it stems from some less than stable member of the family-likely a parent, but no doubt the rest. You do remember how your father reacted when he discovered your magic?" Severus nodded mutely. "Well, consider, then, what an entire family full of Muggles might do when they discover one of their children is summoning toys to them with their mind or closing doors or any number of things. And if her family is unstable, then she will be unstable too. And, Severus, I am willing to teach her because she needs as much guidance as possible, but you _must_ be careful. I don't want to see you...hurt."

Severus was staring at her with wide eyes, his mouth agape. A thousand thoughts circled in his mind and he couldn't manage to pull a single one out of the mess and present it as a response. He sputtered a few times before finally he found his voice and manage to push something from the whirling cataclysm of thought out of his mind and into his mouth. "Are... you can't...honestly...Mum, _why?"_ He knew she hadn't spoken ill of him at all, but hearing her say those things about Lily left him feeling like a knife had been driven into his chest.

Eileen's face softened as Severus' flowed from shock to sadness like a shifting tide. "Severus, my son, please. You barely know her. You cannot throw all of your faith and trust and- _yourself_ into a girl you've just met. It...it isn't wise."

Severus clenched his jaw tight and nodded. It was the only thing he could do to stop himself from crying. His mother seemed satisfied with this, nodding towards the pile of books and notes strewn around on the floor. "Please be sure to clean this up before dinner."  
"Yes, Mother."

Eileen turned and left Severus to his task, no doubt to begin making dinner. As far as she was concerned her words were heeded and even if Lily came around again, Severus would be more careful. What she did not know was that Severus had already done precisely what she told him not to, and he wouldn't, couldn't, change that now.


	5. Chapter 5: High Street

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to the Harry Potter franchise. I am making no money from this venture; it's just fun as hell.

 **TW: DESCRIPTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE**

 **Chapter Five: High Street**

Lily's father wasn't home when she got back from Severus's house, but she knew he wouldn't be. Even after taking the long way around and stopping at the edge of the grimy river it was still far too early for him to be there. Normally she would have tried to wait a little longer to return, but today she didn't care. _Couldn't_ care. She knew why she'd been sent home early; it had happened at least a dozen times before when she'd tried to befriend another child in the neighborhood. Nina, Samantha, Shannon, Connor, Schenelle, Shane... each and every time she had begun to feel as though she might have a real friend their mother would send her home and then each time she went over it was _'oh, Nina isn't home, she's at another friend's house'_ or _'Connor is at band practice'_ or some other excuse. It wasn't something she was suspicious of until it happened too many times for it to be a coincidence: she was the weird, dirty little girl who was too stupid or full of herself to behave properly. Those mothers felt badly for hers, embarrassed for her and absolutely unwilling to allow her to influence their children in any way.

The few friends she'd had before her magic started to manifest itself were among the first to be barred from her in this way.

And now she was losing Severus too. She couldn't believe her luck and yet, at the same time, had already accepted her fate with grim defeat. She would go to Hogwarts, sure, and maybe then she could spend time with people her own age; it was a boarding school, so the parents wouldn't be there to bar their children from spending time with her. Even if she couldn't spend any more warm afternoons with Severus, reading spellbooks and brewing potions at his and his mother's house, perhaps he would still like to be her friend when they went to school.

Of course, Hogwarts was still a long way off and she had plenty of problems to deal with until then, so she couldn't waste time now fantasizing about the future. Lily tried to be as quiet as possible when she entered the foyer of their modest but well-kept home. Her mother often napped away part of the afternoon, and with the television playing loudly in the background there was little chance of being noticed as she crept up the stairs to her room.

She slipped out of her shoes by the door and silently proceeded to the stairs without a problem. It was in the precise moment where she thought she was going to make it to her room without incident that the floorboard beneath her feet creaked loudly. She swore quietly; hadn't it been the _sixth_ step that creaked, not the fifth?

"Petunia? S'that you?" The voice that called from the sitting room was slurred, but the fondness was evident. Lily bit back anger. She remembered a time when she had been spoken to with such fondness. Sometimes she wished her magic would disappear back into the void it seemed to appear from, but then she realized she may never have known the sort of person her mother really was. Fear, she understood well enough, could make people do crazy things, but if a magical daughter was enough to drive a person into abuse and alcoholism then there would likely be other triggers too. Perhaps it was better to get the truth of things out early in life than be blindsided by it later.

" _Girl."_ The voice had become sharpened by anger. Lily had never imagined such a simple word could become one that she'd dread hearing. As much as she didn't want to do it, Lily turned around and went back down the stairs. There was no doubt that she was being summoned, her mother's tone said just as much even without saying more than one word. She steeled herself for what was to come, whatever flavor of hate her mother decided to serve up today, and walked slowly but purposefully into the sitting room.

Her mother was still in her pajamas and a bathrobe, laid out on their floral couch with a nearly empty bottle of wine clutched loosely in her hand. She didn't look away from the television where a talk show host circled around two arguing guests like a vulture. The quick camera pans to the audience showed a mixture of shock, horror, and wide-eyed awe. Lily wondered vaguely if Alison ever considered inquiring after bringing her daughter onto the show; _'she's dangerous -a possessed little freak. Look at what she can do!'_ she would say, and Lily would be forced to make something happen with her mind in front of a jeering, hateful audience. No one would fault Alison for her hatefulness and the host would send her away on a cruise vacation for a week to help deal with the 'trauma' of it and Lily herself would be shipped off to god-knows-where. Not that she believed in god.

The silence hung oppressively in the room, threatening and merciless. Lily stole an imploring glance at her mother; _'remember? How you used to love me?'_ She knew it was pointless to try projecting these thoughts to the woman with her expressions (and maybe even mind, although she imagined that sort of magic would only prove to frighten the woman even more, if such magic existed at all) but she could not help it. Even after years of the same abuse, a punishment for a crime Lily could not control committing, she still loved her mother, if just for the memory of who she'd been before. She supposed it was just biology, unbiased and unyielding, its nature ingrained into all creatures since the dawn of their existence. When her mother finally spared a glance, eyes bloodshot and unfocused but still hard as steel, she still felt a flutter of something inside her; happiness, anticipation, she couldn't even tell anymore except that it made the vitriol that followed all the more painful.

"Still here, huh?" she asked, disappointment evident in her voice.  
"W-what would dad say if I didn't come home?" Lily asked, daring a moment of challenge. Her mother sneered and she instantly realized it had been a mistake.  
"Your father hates you jus' as much as anyone, he's just too nice to admit it. Listen to me carefully, girl. If he came home and you weren't here he'd finally be able to relax properly for the first time in four years. Can you imagine what that's like? Comin' home every day after working two jobs to keep food on the table and seeing _you?"_

Lily looked down at her feet, wishing she hadn't said anything and hoping she could manage to make it to her bedroom before the tears began to fall. She wondered how her mother managed to use her own laziness as a weapon against her daughter, for if her mother was so concerned about her husband having to work two jobs, _she could_ pick up a part-time job somewhere to help pay the bills. She felt her mother's eyes on her and had the fleeting notion that the woman would reach out to her, to comfort her in some way, but she brandished the bottle of wine and Lily had to take a step back so that it didn't hit her.  
"Get me another bottle of the cabernet, and you'd better not break the cork."

Lily sighed, resigned to her defeat, and shuffled off to the kitchen. She considered climbing up onto the counter to get to the wine her mother desired but finally decided just to hold out her hand and wait for it to fly into it on its own. If all of this was because of her magic, what was the point in denying herself the benefits of it? Of course, she still only did these things when she was alone; the fallout of intentionally performing magic in front of either her mother or her sister would be catastrophic. She briefly dug around in the drawer for the corkscrew and had the bottle open in just a few minutes. The cork ended up immediately in the trash; there wouldn't be any left over once her mother was done with it, and not for the first time, Lily wondered if her father's second job only paid for his wife's drinking habit. Even he must have noticed more money was leaving the bank account than she was willing to admit to drinking away. The first bottle would be hidden away, brought out to the recycling bin before Richard returned home, and Alison would claim she'd had 'just the one' that day. It was a routine Lily knew too well and she could not understand how her father remained so oblivious to it.

"What's taking so long?" Lily heaved a sigh and silently cursed herself for lingering so long in the kitchen.  
"Coming, mother," she replied, stalking out of the kitchen. She'd barely managed to get the words out without sounding as angry as she felt and by the time she was at the threshold of the sitting room her gait was much different. Subdued, all fire and fury that had flared from her seconds ago hidden away. It was the safest way to do things in the Evans house; keep yourself to yourself and show everyone else only what they want to see.  
"Here, Mum," she said, using a moniker that her mother still insisted she use despite clearly having no love for her daughter, holding the bottle out to her mother.

"Just set it down," she snapped, "and take the old one away." It was empty now. Lily picked it up, cradling it carefully in one arm. "And then I don't want to see you until dinner time. Is that clear?"  
"Yes, Mum." It was the most merciful thing she could hear at this point and Lily wasn't going to wait around for her mother to change her mind, so she hurried off, dropping the glass bottle into the recycling bin and then hurrying into her room. When she was finally in the safety of her room, with the door shut to the cruelties of the world, if only briefly, she knew she would finally be able to let it out. To cry away the pain, even if just for a moment, and then move on, wiping away the tears and grabbing her journal to doodle in or a book to read and pass the time with. But today things were different. As she carefully laid down on her bed and thoughts of her mother and her father and Severus (who she'd now never see again) swirled in her head, she realized she couldn't do it anymore. The well was empty, and she simply laid there staring at a spot on the floor until the floor began to move and pulse as if breathing. She didn't know how long she lay there before her eyes slid closed.

When she opened them again her room was dark and the smell of roasted pork rose up from downstairs to meet her. She heard her father and Petunia talking, about the new boarding school Petunia would be attending in the fall by the sound of it. Lily blinked blearily and tried to push herself up, but her arms felt weak and her body felt heavy. She quickly discovered that she needn't try again when her mother stalked into her room-swaying only slightly the way only a practiced alcoholic could after so many drinks. "Get up, you lazy girl!" she spat, grabbing Lily roughly by the arm and lifting her to her feet. "Dinner was served ten minutes ago and you're up here _sleeping?_ As if you couldn't be more of a disappointment." Lily could only blink and try to rub the sleep out of her eyes, unable to completely process what was being said through the haze. Her mother was in the doorway and she'd spun around, looking absolutely frightening standing there in the dark with the glow of the hall light shining around her. " _Well?_ Are you coming or are you skipping dinner tonight? The choice is yours." She turned and stalked off and Lily followed a few steps behind. She had been spoiled lately, going to Severus' house daily and sharing lunch with him and his mother, and that was all about to end. She'd be back to whatever she could knick from the kitchen in the morning until dinner time, and she knew she'd need to eat whatever was down there if she was going to keep her strength up.

The conversation stopped when Lily arrived in the dining room, but she tried to pretend all had already been quiet as she heaved herself tiredly into her chair.  
"Are you feeling sick?" her father asked, likely more out of a sense of duty than concern. Petunia's eyes bored into her for a brief moment before she glanced away, looking down at the meager portion she'd served herself.  
"She's fine," her mother cut in as Lily opened her mouth to reply. "She was upstairs, _sleeping._ She's just a lazy little girl, nothing more." Richard's face fell into a mask of disappointment before he turned back to his meal, shaking his head. Lily wasn't sure if she'd ever felt quite so small.

"I've seen Lily hanging around with that Snape boy from the other side of town," Petunia offered after a moment of silence in which Lily had managed to get just a few bites of food in. Lily groaned internally. Both of her parents looked furious and both barely managed not to speak over each other as they reacted.  
"Really? Do you have any idea what that looks like for our family?" her mother spat.  
"Do you _know_ what kind of person his father is? What do you think _he'll_ be like, huh?" her father pressed.  
"His father doesn't even _live_ there anymore!" Lily retorted unthinkingly, defending a boy she'd likely never get to see again, anyway, her chest bursting with hot fury. Next to her Petunia covered a smirk.  
"And you think you know better than us, is that it?" her father asked, eyes sharp and angry.  
"That's it. I think you've had enough. Go to your room-I don't want to see you for the rest of the night." Of course, that would be her mother's conclusion. She wondered if the woman had been waiting for the opportunity to send her away; it was an occurrence that was beginning to seem more common.

Her father said nothing in her defense and she had no choice but to remove herself from the table with only a few bites of food in her. The atmosphere in the dining room seemed to settle back to a comfortable one as soon as she left and she heard their conversation pick up right away. She shut the door, sliding down the painted wood and landing with a soft _thud_ on the shag carpet. She gripped the green material in her shaking hands, willing herself not to cry. She let out a soft whimper and although they threatened to, no tears slid down her cheeks. She didn't even move from that spot until she heard the television click on and the washing up in the kitchen finish.

xxxx

Days passed and the narrative didn't change. Although she'd managed to drag herself into the shower twice, there were also days where she didn't even manage to leave her room for most of the day. Four days this went on and it wasn't until her mother forcibly drug her to the door one day, stuffing an apple in her hand and telling her not to return until her father's car was in the driveway that she felt the sun on her skin, but it had been a full week since the last day she spent with Severus. She stared down at the shiny red piece of fruit in her hand and wondered what she'd even do out there. She didn't have the will or the energy to try to make another new friend that she'd just be shooed away from even though she longed for friendship. Despite that, her feet carried her to the park. It was deserted for the moment. She sat down on one of the swings, finally taking a bite of the apple her mother had given her. She thought of Snow White and wondered vaguely if her mother had poisoned it.

She didn't even look up when she heard a familiar voice call her name.


	6. Chapter 6: Not Alone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to the Harry Potter franchise. I am making no money from this venture; it's just fun as hell.

 **Chapter Six: Not Alone**

Seven days. It had been seven days since Severus saw Lily, and though he'd only known her for a couple of weeks total before she disappeared, he felt like they'd been friends for far longer. Those seven days stretched on in agonizing repetition and each one that passed seemed to creep by more slowly than the one before. He knew his mother had tried only to help and what she said had come from a place of caring, but they had still argued about it in the days since. _'You scared her! Why would you do that?'_ He had been lucky she was in a forgiving mood that day, for instead of punishing him with a harsh reprimand and some unpleasant task she simply squeezed his shoulder gently and looked a little sad. It didn't do him much good; the deed was already done and Lily was gone and all that his mother had said about socializing with people his own age had been wasted time. It had taken a week of sullen moping for his mother to suggest he go to _her._ It seemed so obvious once she'd said it, but leaving the house at all had always been something Severus avoided. There wasn't any more reason to avoid their house once his father left and he didn't much like encountering people, anyway. There was just one, and she was sitting on the swing, staring at the ground and looking as miserable as he felt.

"Lily?"

She didn't look up. He might have assumed she was ignoring him and that maybe his mother had been right and he'd gotten attached way too fast. He'd shrug and tell himself he did his best but it just didn't work out then turn and walk home. What did it matter, anyway, when he'd only known her for less than a month? Something inside told him it _did_ matter, though, and he felt his feet carrying him to the open swing next to her. He plunked down and watched her, biting his lip. "Lily... I'm sorry about what my Mum said. She is too," he lied, but he saw her shift slightly, leaning a little closer to him. It wasn't exactly a lie; he could tell that she felt bad about scaring off his only friend even if she didn't say it outright.  
"I thought she didn't want me there anymore. Now she's sorry?" Lily mumbled, a flicker of anger in a tone that spoke more deeply of confusion and uncertainty. Severus shook his head. "She doesn't. I mean, she does. Want you there. She just thought that... I dunno."

"That you were spending too much time with me?" Lily supplied, looking up, her eyes flashing and her voice hard. Severus was taken aback; he'd never seen her angry and he figured this wasn't even anger yet. It didn't scare him; he'd seen far more frightening people than Lily. Still, he had not expected it.  
He took a breath and tried to soften his face, like his mother did sometimes when she wanted to be reassuring. "Not because she thinks you're a bad person, Lily-" she scoffed "-she just thinks we got really close really fast for having just met," he finished lamely. He wasn't sure what to say when it seemed like everything he said was wrong. It hadn't been like that when they spent time together before, and his mind drifted. He recalled his mother's words of caution, talking about Lily's 'unstable family' and wondered if that was why she was so mad. Something had happened at her house that made her upset and she was lashing out, as he too was prone to do. The thought did cross his mind that she'd been just as upset as he was about their separation, but he quickly dismissed the idea; _nobody_ liked him except his mother and he even wasn't sure she enjoyed his company most of the time either.

"My own family thinks I'm a bad person-no, Severus, it's true," she said firmly when he tried to interject. "My mum started drinking when I started to make things happen-you know, accidental magic, and I mean, she doesn't ever hit me really, but she's so _mean._ And she didn't use to be like that. None of them used to be like that. My sister used to be my best friend and now she's just like a mini version of my mother and my dad won't even _look at me_ anymore he's so scared. And for what? I've never hurt anybody _ever,_ even my accidental magic wasn't anything hurtful." Her breath came in ragged gasps and her eyes were wide and desperate and miserable and Severus only wanted to pull her into a hug despite his own general distaste for such actions.  
"Some people are afraid of what they don't understand and when they get afraid they get mean. My...my dad was like that too... before he left." Lily gazed at him curiously.  
"I'm sorry... I can't decide if it's bad that he's gone or if you're lucky."  
"I think we're both lucky-me and my mum. He hurt her too-because she's a witch. He hated magic. Now that it's just the two of us, things have been better."  
"I wish _my_ family would leave," Lily replied bitterly.  
Severus' brow furrowed. "I mean, I get that, but then wouldn't you end up in an orphanage? I'd miss you," his voice betrayed a sadness that he'd hoped to stifle at least a little-the last thing he wanted to do was come off as clingy. Lily smiled sadly and reached for his hand. He released the chain curiously, surprised despite all of the evidence making her intentions clear when she wrapped her hand around his. Her hand was warm and soft and he was quite sure his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

"Don't worry, Sev. I'm not going anywhere." He nodded mutely. Wasn't this supposed to be the other way around? Hadn't _she_ felt like she wasn't wanted at his house? Wasn't _she_ the one whose family hated and feared her? Why, then, was she offering him comfort when she was clearly the one who deserved it the most?  
"Thanks, Lils," he replied, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "You're gonna be okay."  
"You think so?"  
"Yeah. You're strong, brilliant, beau-er," he faltered, catching himself before he said too much, "and in just a little bit we're both going to Hogwarts."  
"Yeah. I guess you're right. Wish we could go _now,"_ she added, wistful and frustrated.  
"Me too. But you should come by the house again. You can practice magic with us and it'll almost be like being at Hogwarts, at least for now. Mum would be happy to see you again too," he added when she looked hesitant.

Finally, she smiled. "I'd like that. Oh, and Severus?"  
"Hm?"  
"Thank you."

After their conversation at the park, the two children wandered down to the river and then back to the park through a small, wooded area that had somehow been left untouched by the growing industry around them. More than likely if the industrial boom in Cokeworth had lasted any longer that area would have been replaced with homes or businesses too, and the two children were happy for that small grace. They wandered around before sitting under the shade of a large tree, talking quietly about things that happened over the week while they were apart, which meant Severus did most of the talking. There wasn't much for Lily to say that she didn't prefer to gloss over and she was relieved when Severus didn't press the matter.

They parted ways as the afternoon stretched into evening and stars began to dot the sky both feeling lighter than they had in days, although neither said anything about it. The next morning, Lily arrived at Severus' house, and just as he'd said was welcomed by both he and his mother. The shock and gratitude for them both, his mother for being open-minded and Severus for reaching back out to her after she'd assumed all was lost between them, had her nearly in tears.

They continued on that way for weeks. Both children were diligent and focused in their study of magical theory and potion brewing and Eileen joked more than once that they were both bound for Ravenclaw. It was because of their diligence that Eileen promised them a surprise on the last day of Lily's summer break. When Eileen announced after lunch that she would be taking them to see their surprise as soon as the dishes were finished the two children had the task completed faster than she'd ever seen it done before.

"Those _are_ clean, right?" she quipped, earning exasperated sighs from both children.  
"Of course!" Lily chimed.  
"Yes, can we _please_ see the surprise now?" It was obvious where they'd be going at least. Eileen wore her robes and instructed Severus to do the same, and that always meant they'd be heading out into the wizarding world. More than likely they'd be going to Diagon Alley to pick up supplies at the apothecary, a task that had not yet lost its charm to Severus despite its mundanity. If periodic trips to Diagon Alley over years still delighted him then he couldn't stand waiting any longer to see how Lily would react upon entering the wizarding world for the first time.  
Eileen smiled. "Of course. Take my hand," she instructed, holding both hands out. The children obeyed quickly, though Lily looked confused.

"We're going to Apparate into Diagon Alley. Are you ready Lily?"  
Lily stared at Eileen with excitement and apprehension. "I mean, I don't know if I can?" She had read about Apparation, sure, but only a little bit. She knew it was basically teleportation and had read the instructions they'd be using later to perform the magic correctly, but she didn't think memorizing the three D's was going to be quite enough to Apparate without splinching. She bit her lip at the thought of it.  
"No, I imagine you cannot. However, what you might not have read about is Side-Along Apparation." When Lily shook her head she continued. "Hold my hand very tightly and relax. Your first time might feel a little strange, but it gets easier the more you do it."

Lily glanced at Severus who nodded vigorously. Satisfied that she was safe in Eileen's hands from splinching or any other dangers not yet read about, she nodded. Lily squeezed Eileen's hand and closed her eyes. trying to prepare as best as she could to make her first Side-Along Apparation as painless and easy as possible. A moment later there was a soft _pop_ and the last house on Spinner's End was suddenly empty.


End file.
